* * *
i just wanted to say hi to everyone. it feels like it's been a while since i've done that. i miss being able to reply to all of you guys! i really miss it. i just don't have enough time anymore... :
so, HI! how are you all? what's been going on in your lives?
i've been really busy with finishing scholarship applications for mica; i got a $44,000 scholarship to saic and a $32,000 to scad, but i really hope to attend mica for college. however, money plays a huge factor in where i go. i wish it didn't. stupid money. i'm taking a class called "poverty in america" in school, and it's really opened my eyes to a lot of things, specifically the unspoken class system in the u.s. and the way society deals with the "poor". it's interesting, but it makes me hate money more. why does money have to weigh so heavily upon us? why does it have to be such a huge factor in life? aksjfadlkfhasldf. it's frustrating.
i've also been spending a lot of my time getting ready for my gallery show next week. i'll be showing my photographs alongside three other artists at the straube center in new jersey. i'm super excited, but it is not a small amount of work to prepare for! haha. it's super super stressful.
however, i managed to find some time tuesday night to go see muse (my boy bought us tickets! <3), and holy GEEZ were they awesome. matt bellamy is an absolute god. his voice is fucking incredible, and their music altogether sounds amazing live. even if you only know a few of their songs, i'd highly recommend attending a concert if at all possible. it was easily one of the best live shows i've been to.
and last but not least, i wanted to sort of explain myself - more like my submissions here - as of late. a few people have mentioned to me that i've been churning out some 'darker' things than usual, with less and less lighthearted and colorful things to break it up. i know this - it's just because my art often reflects my life and mood. art is not only an outlet for me but almost a form of meditation. it's my thoughts and feelings and pieces of my mind, and when i am feeling hectic/pressured/angry/upset/whatever, it becomes pretty evident in what i create. it's not really intentional, it's just how it works. my little sister sasha has been stuck in a downward spiral ever since she came back from the psychiatric ward; her schizophrenia always wears on my whole household, but she's been doing worse in the last couple of weeks. i have a lot of schoolwork lately, and getting it all done is a really big hassle - i just need a break. and tomorrow is the anniversary of the murder of my uncle, so that's been sitting like a shadow over my family as well.
i'm just... i need art in these kinds of times, and i hope you all understand and bear with me through these less vibrant phases. i'm scraping along, trying to be strong, and keeping in mind that everything will pass, that i've gotten through worse things in the past.
in even the hardest times, you have to just be, to exist, and make your way through it. the skies will clear eventually. they always do, even after the heaviest rains.
you've gotta keep the faith.
FAQ
cameras: canon eos 5d mark ii , canon eos digital rebel xti
lenses: kit lens [18-55 mm] , macro lens [EF 28-135mm f/3.5-5.6]
lighting: natural - editing program: photoshop cs3 - age: seventeen.
everything in my gallery is © me, bailey elizabeth. do not use anything without my written permission.
